A little tattoo humor from the crew of Art Attack Tattoo:
1. Do not EVER....EVER call a tattoo a "TAT", you don't sound cool and it's annoying.
2. Do not move or talk with your hands, tense your muscles or sing out
to your friend to get you a beer.
3. Do not fart or burp in the tattoo artist’s face, you'll probably get severely hurt.
4. Do not ask the tattoo artist how long it took to get his/her tattoos done or how much they cost.
5. Do not ask your tattoo artist who's the "best" artist in the shop- we're all equally awesome.
6. Unless you can, do not EVER use the term "slinging ink" or any variation of the term.
7. Do not ask the tattoo artist if it’s going to hurt- it is, probably worse now!
8. Do not ask the tattoo artist if he can ‘numb’ the area first- he won’t, but the needle will.
9. Do not ask the tattoo artist if anyone has ever stopped in the middle of a tattoo.
Why, are YOU planning to?
10. Do not call a tattoo machine a "gun!" There is no such thing as a "tattoo gun"
unless you're in prison.
11. Do not ask the tattoo artist how many tattoos he does a day or how much money he makes.
12. Do not ask the tattoo artist what the different machines are for, he knows you don't,
like you'd know the difference.
13. Do not ask the tattoo artist what sort of ink he uses, it's the good stuff,
like you'd know the difference.
14. Do not ask the tattoo artist if he tattoos dicks. (He may say "I'm doing one right now.")
15. Do not text or use your cell phone while you’re getting tattooed. In fact,
turn the damn thing off unless your wife is "expecting."
16. Do not tell the tattoo artist that you have a friend who can draw really ‘good’ and would make a great tattoo artist, if only someone would give him/her a chance.
If we got a dollar for every time we heard that, we could retire to the islands.
17. Do not tell the tattoo artist the story of the guy you let tattoo you who made a tattoo "gun" out of a cassette motor, toothbrush, and a guitar string. He/You now probably have Hepatitis and him and his dumbass friends won't be around much longer!
18. Do not tell the tattoo artist that it doesn't hurt anymore,
they can and may make you piss yourself.
19. Do not look directly into the eyes of your tattoo artist, and Please Do Not Attempt To Heckle The Artist, As He Is Likely Armed, Under The Influence Of Prozac, and Extremely Volatile.
Finally it's done! You look at the finished tattoo and it exceeds all your wildest expectations. It shines like gold and you marvel at the precision, the artistry, the skill in application, and the bright colors.
You may at this point tell the tattooist any of the following:
1. It's Beautiful, it's Excellent, it's Brilliant, it's Fantastic!
2. You are the most brilliant and talented artistic genius in the whole world and I will be eternally grateful to you for the rest of my life!
3. You're amazing, here's a $100 tip for doing such a great job!
All Other Dumb Questions Are Subject To Charges As Follows:
Correct Answers- $20
Dumb Looks Are Still Free.
SHOP SUGGESTIONS AND POLICIES:
MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
Although we do take walk-ins, a majority of our work is done by appointments. Our schedules fill up several days, sometimes weeks in advance, especially for weekends. It's best to come in at the beginning of the week, rather than wait until it's close to the weekend. We do not charge extra for custom designs, unless it's rather large. We do require a Non-Refundable Deposit when an appointment is booked.
NO appointments are made without a cash deposit.
You will want to wait to get your tattoo until you are finished with all sun and water activities as there is no direct sunlight, or swimming for 2 weeks on a new tattoo!
BRING PHOTO I.D.!
TATTOOS: North Carolina requires you to be 18 years old or older to be tattooed and you must be able to prove your identity and age with a valid ID. A parent cannot sign a consent form for a minor to get tattooed under the state of North Carolina.
PIERCINGS: If you are 18 years old or older to be pierced you must bring a valid ID to prove your identity and age. If you are under 18 years old a parent or legal guardian must be present to sign for a minor. The parent or legal guardian must have a valid ID and will have to provide proof that they are indeed a parent or legal guardian to said minor. Proof needed in such cases would be a birth certificate, insurance card with both parent and minors name on it, or a permit/valid ID of the minor with matching last names and/or address. Piercing a minor is at the piercer's discretion.
If you forget your I.D., you can forget about your tattoo or piercing!
NO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL!
No smoking, drugs or alcohol are allowed in our studio EVER! It is illegal for us to tattoo or pierce anyone under the influence and we will refuse service to you if you are. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!
EAT WELL AND BE RESTED!
It's no fun to do anything on an empty stomach or a hangover.
DON'T OVERDO IN THE SUN!
Prior to your appointment, use sun block on the area to be tattooed. If you are sunburned (even just a little) we will not tattoo you. When skin is irritated or peeling it is impossible to do a perfect tattoo. Always use sunblock on your tattoos, this will prolong their beauty.
FOR YOUR COMFORT...
We do have privacy rooms, and we suggest you wear loose clothing or a bathing suit if you are getting a tattoo within the tan line. We do protect your clothing, but please try not to wear white clothes to get tattooed.
Thanks for your cooperation,
-Art Attack Staff
"The Bitterness of Poor Quality is Remembered,
Long After the Sweetness of a Cheap Price is Forgotten"
Cheap Tattoos Aren't Good
Good Tattoos Aren't Cheap
DON'T BE A DUMMY.
THINK BEFORE YOU INK!
NORTH CAROLINA STATE LAW
§ 14-400. Tattooing; body piercing prohibited.
(a) It shall be unlawful for any person or persons to tattoo the arm, limb, or any part of the body of any other person under 18 years of age. Anyone violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor.
(b) It shall be unlawful for any person to pierce any part of the body other than ears of another person under the age of 18 for the purpose of allowing the insertion of earrings, jewelry, or similar objects into the body, unless the prior consent of a custodial parent or guardian is obtained. Anyone violating the provisions of this section is guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor. (1937, c. 112, ss. 1, 2; 1969, c. 1224, s. 8; 1971, c. 1231, s. 1; 1993, c. 539, s. 269; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c); 1998-230, s. 9.)
STICKING IT TO THE PLANET, ONE PRICK AT A TIME
IF YOU ARE SICK, PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM US!
WE DO NOT WANT YOUR FUNK!!!
We have missed an unbelievable amount of work due to inconsiderate people sharing their crap with us. So if we so much as hear you sneeze, sniffle, or cough around us, or even suspect you may be harboring some sort of viral or fungal bacterial funk, you WILL be asked to leave or reschedule your appointment.
Please don't act hurt, shocked, or surprised.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!